Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
- ISBN: 0156027348
- Item #: 0156027348
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Mindful Books |
1990 Limestone Circle |
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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
There is little
sugar but lots of
spice in journalist
Rachel Simmons's
brave and brilliant
book that skewers
the stereotype of
girls as the kinder,
gentler gender. Odd
Girl Out begins with
the premise that
girls are socialized
to be sweet with a
double bind: they
must value
friendships; but
they must not
express the anger
that might destroy
them. Lacking
cultural permission
to acknowledge
conflict, girls
develop what Simmons
calls "a hidden
culture of silent
and indirect
aggression." The
author, who visited
30 schools and
talked to 300 girls,
catalogues chilling
and heartbreaking
acts of aggression,
including the silent
treatment,
note-passing,
glaring, gossiping,
ganging up, fashion
police, and being
nice in private/mean
in public. She
decodes the
vocabulary of these
sneak attacks,
explaining, for
example, three ways
to parse the meaning
of "I'm fat."
Simmons is a gifted
writer who is
skilled at
describing
destructive patterns
and prescribing
clear-cut strategies
for parents,
teachers, and girls
to resist them. "The
heart of resistance
is truth telling,"
advises Simmons. She
guides readers to
nurture emotional
honesty in girls and
to discover a
language for public
discussions of
bullying. She offers
innovative ideas for
changing the
dynamics of the
classroom, sample
dialogues for
talking to
daughters, and
exercises for girls
and their friends to
explore and resolve
messy feelings and
conflicts head-on.
One intriguing
chapter contrasts
truth telling in
white middle class,
African-American,
Latino, and
working-class
communities. Odd
Girl Out is that
rare book with the
power to touch
individual lives and
transform the
culture that
constrains
girls--and
boys--from speaking
the truth.
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